Morning Television: Part One

I started out with the idea of blogging about one particular thing, but when I went looking for clips of that one thing, I found something else that I hadn’t seen.  So this will be a two-part post.

Part One: Georgia Davis

From the video description: Georgia Davis weighs 33 stone [462 lbs] and is only 15.  She talks to Kate about her weight battle.  (Disclaimer: I’m not sure if everyone will be able to access the video.  I know some television websites will only allow IPs from the same country access the videos on their site, and I just don’t know whether GMTV is one of them.  So my apologies if that ends up being the case here.)

GMTV is on ITV from around 6 or so until just before 9 a.m. out here in the UK.  It’s the British equivalent of a Good Morning America, basically.  I don’t normally watch it.  For one thing, I’m too busy in the mornings to watch tv at all, but if it’s on, the kids have their cartoons and whatnot on.  So I didn’t actually see this until I went to the website looking for something else.  As soon as I saw the title, though, I knew I had to watch it.

What I saw filled me with so many mixed emotions I can’t even count them all.

First of all, it opens up with the female presenter talking about a “normal” person’s breakfast.  And then it pans to a spread of food.  6 sandwiches, 4 donuts, at least a dozen chocolate digestives, a slice of chocolate cake, a bowl of what looks like tortilla chips, and finally, a bowl of what looks like bran flakes.  The female presenter then goes on to inform you that all of this is what Miss Davis has for breakfast.

Setting the issue of Binge Eating Disorder aside for just a moment, what is the point of showing it all spread out like that?  Asking Miss Davis on camera what she normally has for breakfast would have sufficed.  The only reason I can think of that they would do it this way is to humiliate Miss Davis.  Not only is she coming on camera to talk about what is probably the foremost issue in her life at the moment, but hey, let’s humiliate her a little bit more, right?  She’s a fatty fatty two by four – she couldn’t possibly have any feelings, now could she?

Once the camera finally pans away from the food spread, the presenter continues introducing Miss Davis, saying “she admits that she uses food like a drug.”

Okay, that line bothers me.  I forget where I read this, but I admit it doesn’t come from me, originally: FOOD IS NOT A DRUG.  Equating food with drugs is like saying that food is something you need to completely cut out of your life because it’s doing you nothing but harm.

Take a closer look at those words.  Completely cut out, and it’s doing you nothing but harm.  What happens when you actually believe that food has no positive value whatsoever and you have to completely cut it out of your life?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

You DIE, that’s what happens.

Now I’m not trying to say that nobody, nowhere, has an unhealthy relationship with food.  I’m not making a judgement on eating disorders or disordered eating at all.  It’s the language that bothers me.  To quote George Carlin: the quality of our thoughts are only as good as the quality of our language.  That’s why that line bothers me.  Not because of someone who already has an eating disorder, but for those who might be easily swayed by someone else’s language.  Like teenagers, for instance.  How many teenagers do you think would watch a video clip like this and automatically think to themselves “Must. Stop Eating. NOW.??  I honestly think the numbers would be frightening.

Then it goes on to show some photos with Miss Davis explaining what they are and how she got to this point.  She says that her father died when she was 5, and ever since then, she used food to fill the void that left her with.

I’m not going to knock the “using food” part.  Comfort eating exists, and for some people it is a problem.  That is a fact, for some people, regardless of their weight.  But what struck me was the photo of herself with her father.

She was already fat!!!!

This girl didn’t just eat herself into oblivion, she was already well on her way to being fat.  And from what I saw in that photo?  Unless they were force-feeding her pounds of lard, there’s something seriously medically wrong.  Thyroid tests, anyone?  ANY-FUCKING-ONE???

But oh no, this is all HER fault, right?  Her life went down the shithole at five years old, and it’s all her own fault that she’s fat now.  It couldn’t possibly be something that is totally beyond her control, simply exacerbated by an eating disorder?  Could it?

But they never even talk about that part.  The way they talk about this, it’s as if she was thin as a rail until she started doing this to herself.  To be fair, they never used the words “doing this to herself,” but that’s the meaning behind the language they DO use.  But they never even bring up the fact that in some of these photos, she’s obviously younger than 5 years old, and yet she’s already fat.  They never talk about her medical history whatsoever, other than the fact that her doctor told her she had to lose at least 20 stone (140 lbs.).

Oh, and another thing: her father?  Fat.

She goes on to talk in a pre-recorded segment about her eating patterns, and another woman appears on camera – they never explicitly say who she is, but I would guess that it’s her grandmother.  She talks about how they used to go on walks together but they can’t anymore, as Miss Davis can only walk a few feet before she’s out of breath.  But guess what: Grandma?  Is fat, too!

Then they show Miss Davis in front of her school, and she tells the camera that she was BANNED from the canteen at school because she was “eating the wrong things.”  I can just see the conversation now.

Head Teacher: Mrs. Davis, your daughter is too fat for our liking, and we’ve noticed she eats the “wrong” things, so we’ve decided she’s not allowed to eat at school at all.

Now, assuming that this is all 100% accurate and not this young girl’s self-hate blowing her eating habits all out of proportion (because that does happen), is going all the way to the other extreme really the way to go here?  Is this really the solution?  To completely deprive her of ALL food at school?

Then they finally go back to the studio, and they give you your first good glimpse of the girl and her mother.  And hey – wouldn’t you know it?  Mom’s fat, too!

So, let’s see…. Dad was fat… Grandma is fat… Mom’s fat… and yet we are still told that Miss Davis has done this all to herself?  We’re still meant to believe that her “misuse” of food is the ONLY reason she’s gotten to this point?  Seriously?

Am I the only person with eyes?  Are my glasses REALLY that good?

Oh but then it gets really good.  Now it’s the mother’s fault!  “Why didn’t you do anything to stop it?” the presenter asks her.

The mother goes on to explain that after her husband died, they were on a limited income, so their food choices were limited to bread and potatoes and the like.

So EVERY PERSON who eats bread and potatoes gets to be 460+ pounds?  Really?  Wow.  I guess the whole world is hallucinating my underweight husband whose favorite foods happen to be bread and potatoes.

“Was there a point where you said ‘okay, she’s TOO overweight now,’ and tried to make some changes in her diet?”

Like any mother who watches her child gain THIS much weight would just sit back and do nothing.  I mean seriously, folks, regardless of the outcome of the situation, it’s safe to assume that the mother did try.  But, contrary to popular brainwashing, weight is NOT a simple calories in/calories out equation.  If I were the one asking the questions?  It would be something along the lines of:

What did you do when you realized how far this was going?  And what was the outcome of that?

Apparently the girl is traveling to the U.S. to enroll in some sort of fat camp-cum-boarding school.  In theory, this sounds great.  She’ll be able to keep up with her schoolwork, she’ll get counseling (and if the death of her father seriously brought on B.E.D?  Counseling can’t be anything BUT a good thing), and she’ll learn about “healthy” eating and exercise.

I just wonder what it’s going to be like in reality.  I’ve seen some American “fat camps” on television, and they’re far from ideal.  The kids end up coming out of there worse off psychologically than they were when they went in.  They are beaten down in an effort to “help” them.  You know the kind of thing I’m talking about – telling these kids that their entire lives are already ruined simply because they happen to be fat.  That excess adipose tissue is the worst thing that could ever happen to them.  That they are worthless, unworthy of anything or anyone simply because of the number on the scale.

I really hope that doesn’t happen to her.

Here is a girl who needs medical attention – because she couldn’t have gotten that fat at 3, 4, and 5 years of age without there being something medically wrong as well.  But all anybody has said is that it is her own fault for “using food as a drug” and her mother’s fault for “not stopping it.”  Nobody nowhere has even brought up the possibility of there being a medical issue ON TOP OF her probable Binge Eating Disorder.

Oh yeah, but shaming fatties into thinness has had SUCH a positive effect so far, hasn’t it?

Misconceptions about Fat Acceptance

Why oh why is it that some people see the words “Fat Acceptance” and automatically assume that what we’re promoting is sitting on the couch all day, eating baby-flavored donuts and Mickey Dee’s, and very little else?

The most recent post over at Eat a Cheeseburger got me thinking about this again, but it’s come up before.

I’ve read some of our most common trolls talk about us using the words “nuts” “crazy” and “insane.”  You know the ones – the ones that seem to pick one of us at random, blast us with as many troll comments as they possibly can, and then (seemingly) get bored and move on.  Almost like they have some sort of awful rotation they use or something.

They honestly seem to think that’s what we’re all about: gorging ourselves on any and every UNhealthy food available and never – under any circumstances – getting any sort of exercise.

Really?  I mean, come on… REALLY???

These are the same people that went to great lengths to find a blog that I started nearly 5 years ago, find out my children’s and husband’s names, and tried to scare me with comments mentioning something that I know I’ve never blogged about here at The Long & Winding Road.  You would think that if they’re going to go through all that trouble, not to mention time, that they’d be able to find a little more about what we’re really all about.

They’d see that most of us espouse Health At Every Size – healthy eating and exercise for HEALTH’S sake, not weight loss.  They’d see that the vast majority of us are actually quite healthy and active.  I mean REALLY, how many of us blog about keeping ourselves healthy EVEN THOUGH we happen to be fat?  Most of us, if not all of us.

It makes you wonder: just WHO are the crazy ones here?  The ones who say “eat right and exercise and if you still happen to be fat, that’s okay”?  Or the ones who read the words “Fat Acceptance” and automatically get visions of supersized people sitting on a couch in their sweats with a baby-flavored donut in one hand and a Big Mac in the other?

Heh.  Like that question actually requires any thought at all.

What *I* want for Fat Acceptance.

Quite a few blog posts have had me thinking about this.  One of which I have to admit, I sparked And because we’re not a monolithic group, because we’re made up of many different people from many different walks of life who have many different personal goals regarding FA, I decided I needed to be completely clear about my wishes for FA.  These are my opinions only and do no reflect on FA as a whole.  Please do not read this as me speaking for the whole group.  This is just me, one person in that group, saying what I want to happen.

I want Fat Persons to be given the basic human rights they deserve. No one should have to worry about discrimination or harassment.  No one should have to be fed fatphobia in such quantities that it makes their lives miserable.  The bullying, emotional torture, and harassment needs to stop.

I want this for every fat person alive. Able-bodied and not.  Black, white, and every color and shade of color in between.  Neurologically normal or not.  Whether you exercise every day or prefer to spend your days reading (as an example).  Whether you eat a “good, balanced” diet or you eat junk food.  Whether or not you have an ED of any kind.  There is no reason on earth that you should be subjected to having your basic human rights taken away from you just because you happen to be fat.

I want to dispel the misconceptions and unfair stereotypes of fat people. That doesn’t mean that if you are lazy and do over eat that you don’t have a place in “my” movement.  Not at all.  But just because _______ fat person overeats and doesn’t exercise doesn’t mean it’s true for all fat people.  But those of you that do overeat? Don’t exercise? Are lazy?  You all deserve respect, too.

I want the world to wake up to the realization that thin =/= healthy and fat =/= unhealthy. Being fat in and of itself does not make one unhealthy.  There is a wide spectrum of fat and health, just as there is with thin and health.  But being healthy is not a moral obligation.  Whether you are fat and healthy or fat and unhealthy, it is no reason for you not to be treated like a human being.  It simply does not matter.

I also want the world to wake up to the realization that diets do not work. Even when you don’t call them “diets.”  Telling me to call Jenny Craig is not going to magically make me thin.  Assuming I eat like a glutton all day and telling me “just try eating less, fatty” isn’t going to work either.  There is absolutely nothing on this earth that is guaranteed to work in making a fat person permanently thin.  The key word here is permanently.  Sure, some diets work in the short-term.  I personally have known quite a few people that went from VERY fat to thin on a diet – I’ll use my Aunt D’s best friend K as an example.  Guess where her body size is now?  Yep, you guessed it – even fatter than before.  I honestly believe, had this woman never dieted in the first place, she’d probably be fat, but she’d probably be around the size I am now (which I admit is on the smaller end of the fat scale).  As it is now, the last time I saw her she was somewhere near the vicinity of 500 lbs.  I truly believe all the dieting she’s done is what has brought her to this point.  I’ve known her all of my life and have seen her go up and down and up and down.  Diets don’t work.  And she’s a great example of that.

Saying that I want all fat people to be accepted as human beings is not the same thing as saying I want the rest of the world to find us all attractive. You don’t have to be attracted to me, or any other fat person.  A person’s level of attractiveness should not factor in to whether or not you treat them with basic dignity and respect.  You don’t have to like me to be respectful to me.  Shit, I can’t stand my mother-in-law, and yet I still treat her with respect and courtesy.  Why?  Because she’s a person.  I don’t have to like her to be polite to her.

However, beauty and attractiveness are two different things. You can find the beauty in a person without wanting to jump their bones.  It might not even be physical beauty.  And you know what?  That’s okay!  It’s okay to say that you can find a person beautiful for one reason or another and not find them attractive.  It’s a good thing, even.

I want the world’s governments to stop trying to “regulate” our bodies. People are designed to come in all shapes and sizes.  And if you bureaucratic anal-retentives would get your collective cranium removed from your collective colon, you’d realize that what you’re being spoon-fed by the mainstream media is being dispelled left and right.  It’s just not being advertised as much as the bullshit you’re swallowing.  Obesity is not a disease, and there is no epidemic.  You can’t catch it, and you can’t “cure” it.  It doesn’t need to be cured.  All the regulations you could come up with are not going to get you the results you want.  It’s just not going to happen.

I want BMI thrown out with the bath water. BMI is an antiquated, arbitrary, ridiculous standard to which no one should be accountable.  It simply doesn’t measure anything except for height and weight.  Human bodies are much more complicated than that.

That’s all I can think of right now.  This is, by no means, a complete list.  This is just what I’ve come up with in one sitting.  I may decide to edit this later on, I don’t know.

Mother, you’re breaking your Daughter’s heart.

nuff said.

'nuff said.

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write this.  I knew I wanted to write about it, from the moment I had this conversation with her, but I just didn’t know how to approach it.  I’ve decided to make it an open letter to my mother.

Mother,

My heart is breaking for you.  This year has been terrible – first the thing with Baby Sister and Nephew, and then Stepfather died in the Spring.   I’ve been amazed at how strong you sound every time we talk on the phone.  I wouldn’t blame you if you just broke down, but you just keep going, no matter how hard things get for you.  You truly are an inspiration.

But then you talk about having lap-band surgery.  And my heart breaks even more.

You say that you “need” it.  That your health is just “so terrible,” and it’s the only thing that’s going to save you.

But Mommy, you’re going to do yourself more harm than good.

You say that it’s going to cure your diabetes, high blood pressure, and back problems.  All of which you know are inherited.  Grandmother had every single one of those problems, and Grandfather has at least two of them that I remember.  You say Grandmother was once as big as you are now – and honestly, I haven’t seen you in 5 years, so I don’t know how much you’ve gained – and you use that as an excuse to prove to me that you have to have this surgery.

But Grandmother wasn’t always very heavy.  I remember her being roughly the size I am now.  And I know that when she died, she was pretty small.  Just because she was heavy at one time in her life does not mean that one time caused all those health problems.

Having the doctor close off part of your stomach is not going to do you any good.  You’re going to become malnourished.  Sure, your diabetes might get better.  Because you’ll be starving yourself. Your body needs more than just a few ounces of food a day.  And it would even if you were thin.

I know it’s hard to fight the fatphobia that you see every day.  Even people who are well meaning are a lot of the times, unknowing fatphobes.  It’s institutionalized and it’s almost impossible to get away from.  I understand that, I really do.

But I hate to see you taking all of that fat hatred in and turning it on yourself.  Don’t you get enough hatred pointed your way from others?  Do you really have to hate yourself, too?

Part of my reaction is our relationship.  Since finding each other again six years ago, we have developed the kind of relatioship I only thought we could have in my dreams.  I have been able to turn to you when things got bad, and you supported and encouraged me.  I never thought I’d have that.

Part of it is my own rising self-esteem.  I can hear the self-loathing in your voice even when you don’t outwardly express it – because I’ve been there.  And I know how good it feels now to be able to say I like myself just the way I am.  I want you to know that feeling, too.

And part of it is that I’ve learned so much in the last few months, and hearing that you’re seriously contemplating surgery – to fix one thing that’s not broken, and to fix others that it simply won’t work for – seriously terrifies me.  You just don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.  And while I know that there are serious statistics – X amount of people have serious health problems, X amount of people actually die as a result of the surgery, X amount of people will actually end up gaining all their weight back – I never thought to save the URLs of the blog posts/studies/news articles I read, so I can’t “prove” it to you.  I know what I know, but without that “proof” I know you’ll just dismiss me as being a worried daughter.

And I am a worried daughter, no question.  But I also know that what you’re contemplating doing is going to be so much worse for your health than doing nothing at all.

And it makes me want to cry.

Fat Family: an Observation

Yesterday was my best friend’s (May) daughter’s (Hayley) birthday.  As I’ve said before, my best friend and her family are like my own second family.  And apparently the feeling is mutual, because Charlene (May’s 2nd daughter) said practically the same thing to me the other night.

While we were all out together, we ran into her cousin, Adam, and it got the gears rolling.  I was just too drunk to be able to make heads or tails of it until today.  😉

I’ve met pretty much every member of their extended family.  There’s my best friend May, and her sisters Joan, Celia, and Carol.  All of them are fat.  All of them started out relatively thin.  As far as May’s children go, they’re about half and half.  She has 4 kids: one boy and three girls.  Danny, momma’s boy (and I mean that affectionately – he’s very close to his mother) and Charlene are both on the fat side.  Hayley is what I would consider thin (she wears a UK size 8 ) and Tiffany is downright skinny – a UK size 2.  She’s so skinny that when we first met, I asked May if Tiff was anorexic.  But she isn’t – this girl can EAT.  She’s just naturally skinny.  But Charlie, May’s ex and the father of her children, is also very thin.

But looking at her sisters and their children, I see something similar happening.  I met (Joan’s son) Adam when he was still in school, somewhere around 15 or 16.  Now he’s old enough to be working in a bar (which is what he was doing last night when we ran into him).  When I first met him?  Definitely in the thin – average range.  Now?  Yup, the boy’s fat.  Joan’s daughter Lindsay was the same way.  Thin all the way through school and then got fat as an adult.  And I see the same things happening with Celia’s and Carol’s kids.  They all seem pretty thin until they hit adulthood, and then about half of them get fat.

But all of these women have (or have had, in some cases) thin – average partners.

While there might be a lot of dissention from the “medical community” on the validity of the nature v.s. lifestyle debate on fat, I personally think it’s a lot more valid than they would like to admit.  (And lord knows there’s never been an actual objective study done on this subject.)  Mostly from my own experiences, but the more I observe others, the more convinced I become.

Not every single fat person in my best friend’s family could possibly have the same sort of lifestyle.  They can’t all be eating McDonald’s every day and laying on the couch until they begin to become one with it.  Shit, I know that May herself was NEVER what I would consider an inactive person.  Not even now that she’s battling terminal leukemia is she inactive.  Sure, she’s not as active as before, but her stamina never ceases to amaze me.  And she doesn’t over eat.  Hell, she doesn’t eat ENOUGH.  Her 3-year old grandson eats more than she does.  So all these stereotypes about fat people?  Are bullshit.  (Although I really don’t have to tell most of you that, but I wanted to put it in there anyway.)

Why is it that I – a person with only a high school education, no degrees of any kind, and no real skills above being able to type like a madwoman – can see the validity of the “naturally fat” theory and these so-called professionals, who went to school literally TWICE as long as I did, cannot?

What the hell kind of “professionals” do we have conducting these studies anyway???

On Comparisons and Food

I found myself quite busy last night, due mainly to it being that time of the month.  I was feeling like shit much of yesterday, and spent most of the morning sitting on the couch doubled over in pain.  By mid-afternoon I was feeling much better, so I ended up doing all my chores late, which took up pretty much my entire evening.  I managed to do some reading, but lacked the mental capacity to compose a coherent comment.  But these issues are things that I deal with daily – even if only in my head – and I feel a pressing need to comment, even if it is on my own blog.

I pretty much read everything in the Fatosphere every day, but Shapely Prose is always where I start out.  Kate and Co. always write enjoyable, thought-provoking posts, and since they update the blog so regularly, it’s just become a habit.  So when I made my daily visit, there was Kate, pointing everybody to Deniselle’s latest entry at Fatly Yours.

And there she was, saying the things I’ve been thinking so often, but saying them so much more clearly than I’ve been able to. 

I have to admit, I’m not gay and wouldn’t presume to say that I understand what it’s like to be gay, dealing with gay-centered prejudice.  But as an outside observer and supporter (just because I’m not “one of them” doesn’t mean I can’t support their right to live full, complete lives just like the rest of us *cough* “normal” *cough* people!), I have noticed the correlations between a lot of what Gay People are subjected to and what we Fat People are subjected to.  And if you happen to be Gay AND Fat?  Bonus!  You get twice the bigotry directed at you!  Aren’t you lucky?

What I don’t understand is how some people can get upset with other people making comparisons.  Comparisons between Fat and Gay or Fat and Race or Gay and Race.  By making a comparison, or using one as an analogy, you’re not taking anything away from either party.  You are simply looking at the things that ARE similar, and acknowledging what is different.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t get upset – who the hell am I to tell someone how they should or shouldn’t feel?  What I’m saying is that I don’t understand it.  I don’t ‘get’ what it is about making comparisons that gets some peoples’ panties in a bunch.  And for someone like me, I need comparisons and analogies.  They help me understand issues so much better if I have X to compare with Y.  (And I would like to point out that when I say “I don’t understand what they’re getting so upset about”, I’m not in any way trying to invalidate their feelings.  I understand that they are upset, I just don’t understand why.)

Like Rachel said in the comments on Kate’s post:

I don’t think playing the “But my oppression is worse than your oppression” game is beneficial for any marginalized group. When we make judgment calls on which groups are more “deserving” of social justice, we’re only perpetuating the very foundations that form the bulwark of all social injustice.

When I DO make comparisons or analogies (and I do), I’m not saying that one is better than the other.  All social injustice is wrong (hence the injustice part).  But it helps me, in trying to get it straight in my own head and in trying to make what I’m trying to say clear.

And Kate had another good point shortly after Rachel’s comment:

Deniselle isn’t saying, “It’s exactly the same!” She’s saying there’s a lot more overlap than there seems to be at first glance — and it’s useful to look at that overlap, because it shines a light on how much different forms of bigotry have in common.

When I look at it in that view, it makes even less sense that people get all up in arms about it.  But I don’t live in their heads, and I can’t say that I know where their anger is coming from.

(I realize that some people might find this hypocritical of me, considering my post regarding animal rights.  But there is one fundamental difference: Deniselle and 99% of the people I see making comparisons between Gay Rights and Fat Acceptance are not saying that they are exactly the same.  The person I referred to in that post, however, DID come to the conclusion that animal rights and fat acceptance ARE the same.  Big difference.)

But then, just as I thought I had enough food for thought (haha!  I kill me!), I click back to the Shapely Prose main page, and there’s another post by Kate regarding food and the morality people try to put on it.

It really touched me, because although I’ve gotten better at ignoring the evil voice in my head that constantly puts me down, the voice that attributes moral value to food is still there, going strong.  I ate a slice of walnut cake for breakfast?  Bad Fattie!  I had cream cheese and pate on crackers for lunch?  Oh, I’m going to go to hell!!!!

I hate to admit it, but I really am that bad.  Sometimes.  There have been times when I’ve been hungry but refused to eat because… I’m FAT!  I shouldn’t NEED to eat!  I can just live forever off of my fat stores!

But you want to know something ironic?  During my longest diet (which lasted nearly five years and resulted in a total loss of about fifteen pounds), I learned something that I’ve found to be true: when I don’t eat, my body thinks it’s starving.  And it holds on to every single calorie I DO put in my mouth as if it’s going to be the last calorie my body is going to get.  And guess what?  I DON’T LOSE WEIGHT.  So why the hell that voice in my head keeps telling me that I can live off of my fat stores is beyond me.  If I ever actually DID live off of my fat stores, that would result in lost weight.  After over twenty years of dieting and almost never losing weight (or losing very minimal weight), you would think I’d know better by now.  You’d THINK.

It’s become so ingrained in me that a question from The Hubster along the lines of “have you had anything to eat today?” is commonplace.  If I’m dizzy, he asks that question.  If I’ve got the shakes, he asks that question.  If my stomach hurts and it’s not that time of the month, he asks that question.  If I just feel generally ill, he asks that question.  And, I hate to say it, any combination of the above happens pretty much every week.  Knowing that, you’d think I would get it into my head that I need to eat.  But no, the idea that I don’t need to eat simply because I’m fat runs through my head like a broken record. 

I have to say, though, that as I read the post and the comments, I realized another reason why The Hubster is made of awesome.  Whenever we go out to eat (which isn’t all that often, unfortunately), his attitude towards what we eat is wonderful.  If I want a burger, he says “have the burger, then!”  If I want a salad, he says “have the salad!”  He’s one of those “like to see a woman enjoy her food” men.  Besides, if we’re paying for this meal, we ought to get some enjoyment out of it.  And if I ordered what I thought I should have rather than what I truly wanted, I’m not going to truly enjoy it, am I?

He’s the same with desserts (and that’s whether we’re eating out or at home).  If I want some, I’m allowed to have some.  I’m an adult, I pay for my own food, so I can have what I want.

I know it almost sounds like I’m getting permission from The Hubster, as if he’s some sort of controller, but that’s totally not the case.  It’s just that it helps – especially when I’m trying to learn how to not diet and not obsess over my weight and the food I eat – to have someone around me with that sort of attitude towards food.  It would make my life a whole lot more difficult if he thought he was a card-carrying Officer of the Food Police and tried to tell me what I should or shouldn’t be eating all the time.  He doesn’t care – not for me, and certainly not for him.  If I want to make some of my aunt’s chili cheese dip and have that for dinner… so what?  I don’t do it all the time, so why should once in a while be a big deal?  (Now if I make something he doesn’t want and he actually has to *gasp* cook for himself *endgasp* — that’s a whole ‘nother story.  But that’s a rant for another day.  😉 )

But that’s the whole point.  It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is.  In today’s society, it is.

(You know, it’s funny how it takes something like this to remind me what an awesome guy The Hubster really is.  There are times when something he says surprises me – like saying that it really is okay for me to eat whatever I want – but it shouldn’t.  If he’d had a problem with my weight, he would have had a problem with my food.  But he didn’t have a problem with the former, so I don’t know why I would ever think he’d ever have a problem with the latter.  I guess it’s just societal brainwashing that would make me think something like that, but it’s totally unfair to him.)

One of the comments on that post reminded me of something I’ve seen in Number One Daughter.

I find that as my monthly friend is preparing for a visit that I can eat continously. I’m hungry for something, but never find out what that something is. So, I just eat and eat. It’s a little scary sometimes.

Number One Daughter does that.  She and I both started ours on Sunday (oooh!  Lucky us!!!), and while I’ve been doubled over with pain, this kid just wants to eat.  I’ve kept her home from school the last two days, and she’s done nothing but eat and sleep the whole time.  Today she had four bowls of cereal between 9:30 and 3:00.  FOUR!!!  (She must really like that cereal though… ‘cuz she was actually asking for it over and over and over and over again.)  But that’s not “normal” for her — the only times she’s ever done anything like that have been either when she’s about to go through a growth spurt; or when she’s on her period.  When it happened the first time, I couldn’t figure out what the problem was.  But then I started noticing a pattern, and when it finally clicked… I figured if it only happened once a month, during that time of the month, then it must mean that for some reason she needs more food during that time of the month.  And I will never deny her that — especially when I can see the reason behind it. 

But you just know that if The Food Police found out that I’m allowing my Autistic daughter to *shock!* *horror!* eat whatever she wants when she wants it, especially if it’s that time of the month… they’d swear out a warrant for my arrest so fast my head would spin.

Now Global Warming is our Fault, Too!

According to this article, us lazy fatties are to blame for global warming.

Nice, huh?

Now, maybe I’m being overly sensitive – and if I am, go ahead and tell me, it’s okay – but this is just pissing me off.  It seems like every other day, we’re being blamed for something else.  First, we’re putting pressure on the health care system.  (But if you read that other blog I’ve been pushing on you today, you’d see that the so-called “doctors” in our health-care system are making sure that fat people DON’T go to the doctor… so how the hell are WE putting pressure on the health care system????)  Then, getting cancer is all OUR fault (never mind genetics, man-made chemicals, and things like asbestos and whatnot – we’re all just getting cancer because we’re FAT…. riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…).  Now this?!

America’s obesity epidemic and global warming might not seem to have much in common.  But public health experts suggest people can attack them both by cutting calories and carbon dioxide at the same time.

How?  Get out of your car and walk or bike half an hour a day instead of driving.  And while you’re at it, eat less red meat.  That’s how Americans can simultaneously save the planet and their health, say doctors and climate scientists.

Now, I’m all for saving the planet.  As a matter of fact, I don’t own a car anymore and I walk to 99% of the places I do travel to.  But how in the fuck is eating less red meat going to save the fucking planet????

And have these doctors and scientists ever actually looked outside of their little offices and laboratories?  Do they not realize that in America, you cannot even survive without a car?  The only reason I can get by without a car is because I no longer live in a country that does not even know the meaning of the term public transportation!!  When I lived in the suburbs of Chicago, I needed to own a car.  I once lost a job all because I didn’t have a car.  No car = no way to get to work.  No way to get to work = no job.  I lived half an hour away from my job, and in order to take a bus there, I would have to get up at around 2:30 in the morning, walk two hours to get to the bus depot, take the bus (on what would have ended up to be an hour long bus ride [did I mention I lived only half an hour away from said job?]), walk another twenty minutes, and end up getting to work half an hour early.  I’ll do the math for you: that’s 5 hours from waking to getting to work.  F-I-V-E.  And I wasn’t alone in my situation, either.

In big cities – like Chicago itself – one can get away with not having a car.  Or, if they absolutely must have a car (say their commute is to somewhere that the bus lines don’t go), they can take the suggestion and walk to the grocery store or whatnot.  But when you live in the suburbs – which the majority of the American population does – that’s just not possible.  Unless you happen to be one of the lucky few that actually do live within walking distance.  But that ain’t too many American citizens, I can tell you that.  The sheer logistics of the statement “walk instead of drive” make it almost impossible for a lot of Americans.

Oh, but they get even more ridiculous.

The World Health Organization estimated that 160,000 people died in 2000 from malaria, diarrhea, malnutrition and drownings from floods – problems that public health and climate scientists contend were worsened by global warming.

WTF?  How in the hell is malaria worsened by global warming?  It’s carried by mosquitos, for fuck’s sake!

The average person walking half an hour a day would lose about 13 pounds a year.  And if everyone did that instead of driving the same distance, the nation would burn a total of 10.5 trillion calories, according to [Paul Higgins, who published a study in 2005], formerly with the University of California at Berkeley. 

I’ve got news for Mr. Higgins.  That’s bullshit!!!  Until we moved to this particular house in July of this year, I was walking anywhere from an hour to two hours a day just taking my kids to and from school.  If I had to go grocery shopping or anywhere else, I would have had to walk more than that.  And guess what?  I didn’t lose a pound.  Not one.  And for a long time, I was eating only one meal a day, which often consisted of nothing but some soup and a couple of slices of bread.  We were poor – dirt poor – and that’s all we could afford.  Calories in/calories out?  I should have fucking disappeared during that time.

And this?  This just fucking gets me:

The average American man eats 1.6 times as much meat as the government recommends, [Dr. Robert Lawrence of the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health] said.  Some studies have shown eating a lot of red meat is linked to a higher risk for colon cancer.

Okay, that brings to mind a couple of things. 

1.  Does this “doctor” – who supposedly went to school and actually got some sort of good grades (I’m assuming; otherwise he wouldn’t have graduated) – not understand the history of human beings’ eating habits?  We’ve always ate red meat – we are omnivores.  That’s why we have both canine and molar teeth – so we can eat everything: animals AND plants.  And while we’re at it: 1.6 times?  That’s what? Half a burger more than you’re “supposed” to eat?  How much more “big brother” can we get?

2.  “Some studies have shown eating a lot of red meat is linked to a higher risk for colon cancer.”  Really?  Then why weren’t as many people dying of colon cancer 100 years ago?  They ate just as much red meat as we do now.  Did ya ever stop to think – “doctor” – that maybe it’s OTHER factors that have increased this risk?  Such as the preservatives and additives we put in our food?  After all, red meat isn’t the only thing we shit out in a day.

Now, tell me: am I being overly sensitive?  Or do you get the same feeling I do: so-called “scientists” seem to be on a mission to blame as much of the world’s problem on us fat people as they possibly can.  “Let’s shame them all into losing weight.”  I gots news for you: if that was going to work, there wouldn’t be any fat people for you to shame.