Giving Thanks

Seeing as it’s Thanksgiving, and I’m an American… even though I’m not doing anything at all to celebrate the holiday today (you know… ‘cuz I live in England and all), I thought it would be a good idea to think of some things I’m thankful for.  Given the mood I’ve been in today, I think it would be good self-therapy.

So here goes:

  • I’m thankful for my husband.  He is not perfect by any means, but he has a good heart and means well.  As I’ve said to a friend before, “he’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.”  And that is absolutely true.  We have our problems, but he is the love of my life, and the last 8 years of my life have been even better all because he’s been a part of it.
  • I’m thankful for my children.  Even though there are days when I’d literally like to kill one or all of them, being their mother has taught me so many things.  My oldest, S, has taught me more about patience and unconditional love than I could have learned in a lifetime had she not been in it.  Being the mother of a special-needs child is indeed special, and I can honestly say that despite her difficulties, I have way more good times with her than bad (although her increasing ability to communicate with others has a lot to do with that, but I’m thankful for that too; life was more frustrating for BOTH of us before she started learning to tell us things, even if they are in her own way).  C, the next one down from S, has taught me how to communicate with my children, and is the most helpful 10-year old one could possibly know.  L, my first actual biological child with The Hubster, reminds me that children need direction, discipline, AND LOVE – Every. Single. Day.  She’s the one that won’t let me go down to the corner shop without a “huggie,” and would happily lay by my side every minute of the day.  My youngest, yet another C… well, she’s teaching me new things every day.  Mostly about how to count to 10 and not kill the little brat discipline her in an appropriate manner.  *sigh*  She’s 5.  She’ll grow out if it, right?  Right.  (I hope I’m right! 😆 )
  • I’m thankful for my biological mother (you’ll understand why I specified ‘biological’ in a minute).  Despite the fact that we were estranged for over 13 years (and I had even begun to wonder if she was even still alive!), we have developed a wonderful relationship, and I know that when there’s a problem I can go to her.  When The Hubster had an affair 3 years ago, she was the first person I spoke to about it, and she was a key component in our being able to work through our problems and repair our marriage despite what he’d done.  If I didn’t have her to talk to, to cry to, and to ask advice from, I don’t know what would have happened.  I will forever be grateful to her for that, but it’s just another indication of the kind of relationship we’ve been able to create despite the fact that I’d only ever lived with her for maybe 4 or 5 years of my life in total.
  • I’m thankful for my grandmother, whom I call mother.  And that was my choice, not a demand from her.  By the time I was 11, I realized that my biological mother would never be able to be a ‘real’ mother to me (and I have to point out that I didn’t have any malice about that thought, it just was what it was; I realized that I didn’t really know everything about the dynamics of my family – especially where my biological parents were concerned – so I just accepted my situation as it was: my grandmother was raising me, in essence being my mother, and therefore had earned the title), so I chose to start calling her by the title of ‘mother’ or ‘mom’ or the awful ‘ma’.  (Although she doesn’t hate ‘ma’ – her NICKNAME is ‘Ma Bell’ [Bell being my maiden name].)  She took me in when I was 18 months old, raised me until the age of 5 – at which time a horrible motorcycle accident left her unable to physically take care of me – and then again from the age of 8 until I moved out the first time at 19 (I was one of those ‘revolving door’ young adults – I moved back ‘home’ more times than I care to admit).  My childhood wasn’t the greatest – she and I didn’t get along that well – but she didn’t have to do what she did.  She did it anyway.  And now that we don’t live together anymore, we have a much better relationship than we ever had (the fact that I’m 7,000 miles away might have something to do with that 😉 ).
  • I’m thankful for my extended family.  We’re about as dysfunctional as you can get, but I can honestly say that I know my family has meant well at all times for me.  And I do have some wonderful memories of huuuuuuuuuuuuge family get-togethers – memories I just wish I could create for my own children, but that’s not possible.
  • I’m thankful for all of my friends – past and present.  Some people (Sheryl) have stuck around through thick and thin over the years.  Some others (Keesha) were only in my life a short time, but made a lasting impact.  Some others (May) are recent additions, but that doesn’t make them any less important.  In some ways, friends are more important than even family are.
  • I’m thankful for my health.  I could be healthier – and I’m working on becoming so – but considering the choices I’ve made in my past, I could be a hell of a lot worse.  So I’m thankful that I am as healthy as I am.

Actually, now that I’m getting into this, I realize that I could be here all day (who knew I had so much to be thankful for? 😀 ), so I think I’ll just stop now.  But the ones above are the most important thanks givings I could possibly come up with.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans, and Happy Thursday to everybody who isn’t.  Just because you’re not an American doesn’t mean you can be thankful.  Right?  😀