Jesus Christ, the stupidity astounds me!

fa pride!
alxherrera@xxxxxxxxx |

Try losing 100 pounds. You’ll see that back pain go away.

From Friday Not-So-Fun: Back Pain Sucks!, 2008/07/25 at 11:45 PM

I don’t even know where to start.  Shall I start with the fact that I didn’t have any consistent back pain until I tried to lift my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER???  Obviously somebody needs to go back to third grade and learn reading comprehension.

Or should I start with the fact that when I was eleven years old and only mildly overweight, I had backaches from an old, unsupportive bed then?  I mean Jesus… just watch bed commercials!  Even those people tell you that unsupportive beds will give you backaches, no matter what you happen to weigh. (And for the record, I have had this bed for 10 years, and it was old when I got it.  Beds just get less and less supportive with age.)

Or should I start with the fact that if I WERE to somehow manage to lose 100 pounds, I’d weigh less than the thirteen year old daughter that I lifted and hurt my back?  That if I lost that much weight, I’d be little more than a skeleton?  That if I lost that much weight, I would DIE.

Not to mention the fact that nobody knows how to make a naturally thin person fat anymore than they know how to make a naturally fat person thin.

Jesus H. Christ… what the fuck?!

Although I consider myself to be uneducated (the only “education” I had past high school was an office skills training program), I do consider myself to be intelligent.  And honestly?  I didn’t think I was the only one.  In America, “education” costs money.  “Intelligence” is free.

Is this what America has come to?  (I know this individual is American, because its IP address comes up as Verizon.)  Is this obesity epidemic bullshit really sucking the intelligence out of the American Public?

Or have I been giving people too much credit?

Edit: I have just gotten two more troll comments, both from the same person, one saying that my daughter looks like a retarded Furby.  You know what?  I LIKE Furbies!  I had a collection of the things!  The other comment said something to the effect of “you have a daughter?  Who in their right mind would stick their dick into a piece of jello like you?”  WELL… not only do I have ONE daughter, but I have FOUR, from THREE different fathers.  So not one, not two, but at LEAST three men (and believe you me, there were plenty more than that altogether) wanted to stick their dicks in me.  And I’ve been married to the same man for coming up to 9 years now.  Not only did he want to stick his dick in me once, but over and over again.

😆  Insults: YUR DOIN IT RONG!


Please welcome Tara, the new douchehound of the day!!!!

xxxxx | xxxxx

Hello I noticed that on another blog you noted that you are fat due to your polish ancestry. I would like to show you that as can be seen here:
Poland has an obesity rate of only 11.4% as opposed to America with over 30% If polish ancestry is what makes you fat tthan I can only imagine people with ancestry from Iceland Finland, spain, germany or one of the many many other countries. If being polish makes you fat than The whole popluation of the world should be morbidly obese. Nice try but stop making excuses. People who are in denial and say fat is not a their fault and not a choice are the reasons that Fa will never gain a foothold. people are not that dumb get off your ass and start eating right

From No-Diet Talk, 2008/06/03 at 5:52 PM

Well, well, well. I guess I was due a new fuckwit, wasn’t I?

What the hell is wrong with this person? First of all, I’ve never blamed my fat on anything. I have come up with hypotheses as to things that might have contributed to my weight, but I’ve never laid the blame on any one thing in particular. Hell, the smartest, least fat-hating doctor in the world couldn’t tell me exactly why I’m fat, so I’m not about to go around saying “Eureka! I’ve found it!”

Secondly, what sad kind of life does this person have, to go around hunting for something to take issue with? I mean… couldn’t s/he have just prowled around my own blog for a while? I’m sure I must have said something here to rile him/her. After all, I’m deliberately being fat at the world here, ain’t I?

And who’s the asshat that’s in denial here. One who swallows every bit of horseshit shoveled down his/her throat by the media and the fat-hating fear-mongers in charge? Or the one that’s actually lived the life of a fat person?

Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes ~unkown

Until this person actually knows what it’s like to be fat, and has any fucking clue what it’s like to live in a body that’s shunned simply because it doesn’t conform to what people are told is the only way to be acceptable, then s/he can go buck a fuffalo, just like the picture says.

I don’t have to justify my life, my habits, or my existence to anybody, “Tara.” Least of all a douchhound fuckwit asshat like yourself.

Feel free to fuck right off the face of the earth.


Oooh. It’s back.

xxxxx | xxxxx

I’ve been fat and I’ve been thin. Thin is better. It’s not really hard to do either as all you have to do is stick to a healthy lifestyle.

From Please welcome Tara, the new douchehound of the day!!!!, 2008/06/03 at 10:46 PM

Oh yeah. It’s just that simple.  Why didn’t anybody tell me!? How in the world could I have gone an entire lifetime being fat with no one telling me how simple it is to not be fat anymore?!  *headdesk*

Quote of the Day

The Littlest Monster, also known as my 5 year old daughter, earlier this evening:

Of course you’re cute, Mommy!  … And you’re cuddly, too!

The first sentence was in reference to a question she asked me.  I have absolutely no idea why it occurred to her to ask this question, but she came into the kitchen where I was washing up and asked me: Mommy, are you cute?  Not knowing exactly how to answer that (before, I would have laughed or said “Uh… no.”  Now?  I don’t know HOW to respond), I just shrugged my shoulders and made an “I dunno” noise.  That first sentence was her answer.

That second line came a little later, after I was done with the kitchen and we were about to dive into the Christmas box to start putting decorations up around the room (we put the tree up last Saturday).

After having to deal with fat haters, trolls, and Santa-bashing, that absolutely made my friggin’ day.  So The Littlest Monster gets my Quote of the Day crown.  🙂

Hee! I got my very first troll!

Get this shit.

So… ya know that post I made about Val Kilmer and his being “fat” and all that?  Well, the owner of one of the blogs I linked to sent me this:

celebrity gossipXXXXXXXXX | | IP: xxxxxxxxxxx

I noticed you linking to me, then I see you are bashing my website. Maybe you are just jealous I am ranked for Val Kilmer in Google. I never said I was a Journalist, I am a Comedian. Star Muscle blows your shitty blog out of the water, go piss off.

Now.  Let me quote myself.

I had to go searching for some articles on this whole thing, simply due to my ignorance on the matter.  And you know what?  Most of them were amateur blogger-type-journalist-wannabes that seem to thrive on bashing these people that they don’t even know

Let’s recap, for those who posess no reading comprehension.  Amateur: a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity.  Blogger: one who blogs.  Type: a thing or person regarded as a member of a class or category; kind; sort.  Journalist: a person who practices the occupation or profession of journalism. **OR** a person who keeps a journal, diary, or other record of daily events. Wannabe: one who aspires, often vainly, to emulate another’s success or attain eminence in some area.

Can someone please explain to me where I actually called this person a journalist?  A journalist wannabe, yes.  But never did I actually CALL this person a journalist.

Secondly, when the hell did I say that I was in this for a fucking popularity contest? 

Maybe you are just jealous I am ranked for Val Kilmer in Google…. Star Muscle blows your shitty blog out of the water…

What the hell?  Are we in third grade now?  I can just see it now.  My blog’s better than your blog!  My blog’s better than your blog!  Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!  Complete with stuck out tongue and everything.  And I’ve got news for you:  I couldn’t give two shits about google rankings!  If I google something, nine times out of ten, it’s because I want to know FACTS, not what some lame-ass poseur who obviously places entirely too much faith in google rankings has to say about it.  FACTS, not opinions.  Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one.  And apparently, some people are one.  (Asshole, that is.)

And I hate to nitpick, but I never bashed this person’s BLOG.  I disagreed with bashing people one doesn’t know, yes.  I linked to a specific post, yes.  But WHERE did I bash this person’s ENTIRE blog?  Can you tell me?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? 

And finally.  Comedian?  I’ve got news for you, asshat: you ain’t funny.  Bashing on people you don’t know: not funny.  Perpetuating fat stereotypes: not funny.  Acting like you’re 9 years old: not funny.

Survey says……………………………………….?

Not funny.

If that’s what you call funny, I’ve got some advice for you: Dude. Don’t quit your day job.  SERIOUSLY.

And take this as a warning to any other potential trolls out there: post a trollish comment, and you WILL find yourself deleted.  Nobody but me is ever going to see that comment.  Unless, of course, I’m in a particular kind of mood and decide to use you for post fodder.  And then you get to be the big ole butt of my jokes, and everybody gets to see what a douchehound asshat MORON you are.