Friday Fun: I feel good!

In my journey, I have learned that part of coming to love myself means acting in a loving way towards myself.  Putting everyone else’s needs first and myself last is not acting in a loving way; if anything, it’s horrible.  I wouldn’t want my husband or any of my 4 children to think they ALWAYS came last to me, so why would I treat myself that way?  And yet, I do.  Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am a mother.  I’ve noticed that most women (ALL of the women I’ve personally known who do this) who always put themselves last are mothers.

So, even before finding the fatosphere and getting the boost I needed, I had started to do things for myself that make me feel good.  About myself and in myself.  I started with getting my nails done.

For a long time, I thought my nails were the only nice things about me.  Seriously.  You know those psychological exercises where you have to come up with x amount of nice things to say about yourself?  I could never do those.  I honestly couldn’t come up with a single nice thing to say.  Until I started getting my nails done.  Then they were lovely and long, strong, and brightly colored.  And the nail polish lasts for more than one day!!!!

Now, since finding the Fatosphere and having my self-esteem skyrocket (comparatively; as opposed to what it was before), I’m slowly finding more and more things I can do for myself that are beginning to be fun, to make me feel good, whereas before they felt like a chore.

Like shopping, for example.

Since I started looking at myself in a whole new light (and I mean that as much literally as figuratively), shopping for clothes has become something I look forward to every payday.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go and blow our entire budget on clothes.  I have a maximum limit I allow myself to spend on clothes each month, and I tend to shop almost exclusively off of sale racks.  (CLEARANCE is a word that will make me squee with excitement! 😆 ) But before, I would put off buying new clothes as long as possible, because it was sure to be an experience that would end in tears.  Finding nothing that fit properly, and the dissonance in sizing between different designers would have me blaming my body for every thing that was wrong with the clothes.  Having had it drummed into my head that it’s the clothes’ fault, not my own, means that if I pull something off a rack that should fit and doesn’t, I don’t get upset.  I just try on a different size.

And getting out of my “swimming in my clothes” comfort zone means that I’m discovering new things every time – like the fact that I can actually fit my fat ass into some 16’s and even 14’s (I’m usually around a 20, UK).  Discovering that has opened up so many more options to me, places I didn’t think I was “allowed” to shop at, simply because I was TOO fat.

And the relatively recent upswing in plus size fatshion (meaning OMG, now I can find CUTE clothes in plus sizes!!!) means that I can buy something new and look at myself and think “Oh, I look cute!  Fat, but cute!”  Living almost my entire life up to this point thinking that the words “fat” and “cute” (or hot, sexy, whatever word strikes your fancy) were mutually exlusive, being able to say that is a BIG deal.  And it leaves me on a natural high for the rest of the day.

My hair is another one.  I used to HATE it.  I mean HATE.  I would say I was going to shave my head and people would laugh.  Only I wasn’t joking!  I hated my hair so bad that going bald seemed a better option.

But just a couple of months ago, I discovered Naturally Curly, and following the tips and tricks there has made me come to actually like my hair.  It’s a rare day now when I have what *I* would call a “bad hair day.”  Some people would look at me and think that I look “messy,” or “dirty,” just because of my hair (it’s impossibly curly and will never look “tame”), but it’s me.  It’s the hair I’ve had since I hit puberty (I had straight hair until then), and I can’t straighten it.  Oh, don’t think I haven’t tried.  I’ve tried everything short of harsh chemical “fixes.”  And instead of going straight, it just goes straight OUT.  However, like I said, since following the steps outlined on the Naturally Curly site (which goes along with the book Curly Girl), I have come to actually like my hair.  Considering it wasn’t that long ago I wanted to shave it all off, that makes me feel good too.  🙂

Of course, there are things I can do to make myself feel good that don’t cost money, either.  I can cuddle with my children.  Or with my kitty! 😀  I can go for a walk with my iPod.  Getting the chance to go walking/hiking with my Hubby, that’s a definite one.  Although that usually costs some money, as we usually go a good ways away from home when we do.

Sometimes it’s as simple as locking myself away in a room with a book.  Or a long, hot bubble bath with soft music playing.

Of course, these things don’t always work.  There are times when I’m just too stressed out – but those are the times I need them the most.  Because while I might not come out of it feeling “good,” I’m certainly feeling better than I was!

What makes you feel good?


One Response

  1. Lately I have been all about being the uber femme I am. Fancy make up, cute outfits, sticking to my love of the bat cave (aging goth in the house), and most of all I think touching the things I love about my body.

    Also bootyshaking. I am an advocate of the bootyshaking to celebrate yourself.

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