Hate (noun):
1) Intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility
2) the object of extreme aversion or hostility

There is an inordinant amount of hate trawling the internets at the moment. I’m sure most of you who read me know exactly what I’m talking about. I think other people have addressed that particular issue much better than I ever could have, so I don’t plan on linking to any of those posts directly.

What I want to talk about is hatred in general.

I truly don’t understand where all this hatred comes from. I really don’t. My brain simply isn’t built that way. Hell, I can’t even bring myself to hate my own father, and if there’s anyone in my life that deserves my hatred, it would definitely be him. But I don’t hate him. I certainly don’t love him, but I can’t bring myself to hate him, either.

Why? Because my hating him would harm only one person – ME. Carrying that kind of emotion with me 24/7 would have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever (especially considering we live on opposite sides of the globe). But it would eat away at my insides, like acid.

It leads me to question what kind of individuals would not only openly announce that they hate someone/something, but would go to great lengths, expending time and energy just on their hatred. What kind of person would be so obsessed with whatever it is that gets under their skin like that, that they would spend hours upon hours going out of their way to concentrate on just that one subject.

Some people have said that these people obviously have internalized hatred and are now turning it outward onto others. I disagree with that statement. I disagree simply because I have spent almost my entire life hating myself, and I would never have dreamed of turning that hatred onto someone else. I know I have been my own worst enemy, and I wouldn’t have wished that on anyone – regardless of who or what they are, or what they do or don’t believe in.

While searching for something to help get my point across, I came upon this quote on Stop The Hate:

"Intolerance:  a veil worn to disguise fear and ignorance."
Binda Fraser, Ontario Canada 

I think that’s probably a little more accurate. But what is it about people that are seen as “abnormal” that causes so much fear? I seriously just don’t get it. I’m not dismissing it; I’m not saying it isn’t real. Of course it’s real – we wouldn’t have racism, or sexism, or any other -isms if it weren’t real. I’m simply stating that I don’t understand it. I don’t have the capacity to understand how someone’s fear of something could turn so visceral. So violent. So… evil.

I guess it’s my natural curiosity. If I don’t understand something or someone, I ask questions. I want to understand. I want to learn. Take racism, for example. That’s one -ism I really don’t get. I see it happen, but I don’t understand what makes the racist person speak and act the way they do. And I’m not a ‘minority’, so I can’t say that I understand what it’s like to be the person that’s discriminated against. So what do I do? I search. I read. I talk to people. I ask questions.  And I am like that with almost everything I don’t understand – just ask The Hubster.  He’d tell you how I’m always asking questions about things I don’t understand (and probably how annoying I can be, too!).

I wish I could understand the hatred.  I really do.  If I understood it, then maybe I would feel like I could do something about it.  But I don’t understand it, and I just read these things with a sick feeling in my stomach.  My head spins with the effort of trying to understand where this is coming from.  My heart goes out to the people to whom the hatred is directed.  I know I’m one of a group of people to whom hatred is directed, but this recent spate of hate-mongering has kind of gone around me.  If I hadn’t read about it in the Fatosphere, I wouldn’t have known it even existed.  Some of the people whom this has directly effected have had some very mature reactions to it.  And I applaud them.  I wish more people had the guts to be able to stand up to that kind of hatred and not stoop to the same level as the people that are directing that hatred at them.

But at the same time, I wish they didn’t have to.


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