Hee! I got my very first troll!

Get this shit.

So… ya know that post I made about Val Kilmer and his being “fat” and all that?  Well, the owner of one of the blogs I linked to sent me this:

celebrity gossip | XXXXXXXXX | starmuscle.com | IP: xxxxxxxxxxx

I noticed you linking to me, then I see you are bashing my website. Maybe you are just jealous I am ranked for Val Kilmer in Google. I never said I was a Journalist, I am a Comedian. Star Muscle blows your shitty blog out of the water, go piss off.

Now.  Let me quote myself.

I had to go searching for some articles on this whole thing, simply due to my ignorance on the matter.  And you know what?  Most of them were amateur blogger-type-journalist-wannabes that seem to thrive on bashing these people that they don’t even know. 

Let’s recap, for those who posess no reading comprehension.  Amateur: a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity.  Blogger: one who blogs.  Type: a thing or person regarded as a member of a class or category; kind; sort.  Journalist: a person who practices the occupation or profession of journalism. **OR** a person who keeps a journal, diary, or other record of daily events. Wannabe: one who aspires, often vainly, to emulate another’s success or attain eminence in some area.

Can someone please explain to me where I actually called this person a journalist?  A journalist wannabe, yes.  But never did I actually CALL this person a journalist.

Secondly, when the hell did I say that I was in this for a fucking popularity contest? 

Maybe you are just jealous I am ranked for Val Kilmer in Google…. Star Muscle blows your shitty blog out of the water…

What the hell?  Are we in third grade now?  I can just see it now.  My blog’s better than your blog!  My blog’s better than your blog!  Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!  Complete with stuck out tongue and everything.  And I’ve got news for you:  I couldn’t give two shits about google rankings!  If I google something, nine times out of ten, it’s because I want to know FACTS, not what some lame-ass poseur who obviously places entirely too much faith in google rankings has to say about it.  FACTS, not opinions.  Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one.  And apparently, some people are one.  (Asshole, that is.)

And I hate to nitpick, but I never bashed this person’s BLOG.  I disagreed with bashing people one doesn’t know, yes.  I linked to a specific post, yes.  But WHERE did I bash this person’s ENTIRE blog?  Can you tell me?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? 

And finally.  Comedian?  I’ve got news for you, asshat: you ain’t funny.  Bashing on people you don’t know: not funny.  Perpetuating fat stereotypes: not funny.  Acting like you’re 9 years old: not funny.

Survey says……………………………………….?

Not funny.

If that’s what you call funny, I’ve got some advice for you: Dude. Don’t quit your day job.  SERIOUSLY.

And take this as a warning to any other potential trolls out there: post a trollish comment, and you WILL find yourself deleted.  Nobody but me is ever going to see that comment.  Unless, of course, I’m in a particular kind of mood and decide to use you for post fodder.  And then you get to be the big ole butt of my jokes, and everybody gets to see what a douchehound asshat MORON you are.