Observations

It’s strange how something can be all around you but you don’t really notice it until somebody points it out to you.

For example, I’d never heard of the band Stereophonics before my Hubby downloaded a bunch of their albums a few years ago, and I “stole” them to take to work with me.  All of a sudden, I was hearing their music on television shows, commercials, and movies.  Some of which I know I’d seen before hearing of the band, but just never really paid attention to the music before.

It’s been the same with this whole dieting/WLS/size paranoia thing.  I never really noticed how prevalent it was until I stumbled upon the Fat Acceptance Movement.  Then I started to really notice things that I just didn’t pay any attention to before.

This morning I stopped into the corner shop before going home after dropping the kids off at school.  I needed a few things and I thought I’d pick up a magazine while I was there.  I was looking through the rack, deciding on what I wanted to buy, when I realized that almost every single one of the celebrity mags had some sort of diet/size topic on the cover.  One of them was talking about the Spice Girls, and how Posh is apparently worried that her size 0 status is going to cause her health problems (uh… DUH?!?!), and how Geri Hallowell is devastated that she’s “bigger than Posh.”  (But she’s still a fucking stick with a head as it is.)  Another one had some “celebrity” I’d never heard of before, worried about HER weight.  Woman’s World had some cover story about how you can lose X amount of pounds by Christmas (funny how I can’t remember how much weight they were talking about losing, just the fact that they’re touting some new diet).

I just find it odd that I never really noticed those things before.  They were things I saw every day (I’m constantly going into this shop, it’s pathetic), but I didn’t SEE them, if ya know what I mean.  It’s like when your kids are growing, but they’re doing it in front of you, so you don’t really notice until they grow out of something.  Then suddenly it hits you, that it’s been happening right before your eyes but you didn’t see it.

On more of a personal note, I noticed something about myself yesterday.  I don’t know whether I’ve actually lost any weight or not, but my stomach seems to be shrinking.  I looked down and suddenly realized that I couldn’t see as much of my tummy as I had before.  I went to my Hubby and asked him, “Have I lost it, or does this seem to be smaller?” pointing to my tummy.  He looked at my stomach and then at my face and said, “No, you haven’t lost it.  Well, not your mind anyway.  You’ve lost that (pointing at my tummy), but you haven’t lost it.”

Huh.

I make the decision to stop trying to lose weight, to just try to be healthy – which still means eating well and exercising – and then I lose weight.

It makes me wonder.  Maybe that’s part of society’s problem.  Maybe it’s having this whole dieting/obesity thing shoved down our throats that’s REALLY making us fat fatter than we would be normally.  I can say that, from my own experience, having diets shoved down my throat and constantly being told that I was too fat and nobody would ever love me because of my fat, only proved to make me want to eat more.  I have no doubt that I would never have been skinny.  I doubt I would have ever been any smaller than a US size 12.  But if I didn’t have it forced upon me over and over and over again, I think I probably wouldn’t have gained the weight I did in my teens.  I probably would have stayed somewhere around 145-155, and eventually I would have realized that I really wasn’t all that fat, that people just liked to bully me and that was the easiest thing for them to pick on. 

Obviously, I realize that I could be completely wrong about all this.  These are just my personal thoughts.  But I think it’s good for me to question things like this.  Maybe if more people questioned what we’re conditioned to believe as the truth, this world would be a much better place – for everyone concerned.

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4 Responses

  1. Hi – just found your blog after being at Shapely Prose. Yes, interesting, isn’t it? You stop trying to force your body to be a certain size and start trusting your appetite and your belly and lo and behold your body takes care of itself! There’s a whole intuitive eating mindset that is incredibly helpful at making peace with and loving your body.
    I think you are absolutely NOT “completely wrong” about dieting and what it does to us, both mentally and physically.

  2. I’ve noticed the same thing, actually. For a while, i was telling myself that i was letting myself eat as much of whatever as my body wanted. But i found i was still restricting certain foods (not for weight reasons – for health reasons that have since been resolved). So i made up my mind to just listen to my body 100%, trusting it to let me know when i should or should not eat certain things.

    A friend of mine comes over to hang out once every week or so. Last few times, he’s been saying “Lindsay, you losing weight?” I’m kinda not sure how to respond, so i generally shrug and say, “I dunno… maybe?”

  3. Another thing I notice, is that when I stop trying to diet and MAKE myself eat healthy… I start CRAVING vegetables.

    I find something inherently strange about CRAVING vegetables. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I just think it’s WEIRD.

    But then again, nobody ever accused me of being NORMAL. 😉

  4. […] mentioned a few posts back that my stomach seems to be shrinking, even though I haven’t lost any actual weight.  And […]

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