One More Time: It’s Not Your Body’s Fault ____ Doesn’t Fit.

While out shopping today, I had an opportunity to remind myself of this fact.  And would you believe, it all started with a simple bangle?

I was getting birthday presents for both my SIL and my daughter (SIL turned 12 today, daughter #3 will be 8 on Sunday) and I just happened to pass by the jewelry section of the store.  I love bangles – always have – so I figured I’d give one a try.

Didn’t fit.

Tried another one… that one didn’t fit either.

Same thing with the next, and the next, and the next.  I literally tried on every type of bangle they had, and NONE of them would fit.

The thing is, I have a large bone structure.  I inherited it from both parents, really.  Every family member save one that I know has a large bone structure, regardless of whether we’re talking about my mother’s or father’s side of my family.  (And that one family member?  Was very sickly as a baby, and is now the dwarf of the family.  She’s the shortest and smallest out of all of us.)

So this means that I’ve always had large hands.  Even when I was younger and thinner, I had hands that seemed huge to me.  Of course, at the time, I thought that losing weight would be the solution to even that problem.  But the more I really take a step back and analyze these things, the more I realize that’s just another part and parcel of my Fantasy of Being Thin.  Losing weight would not have magically made my hands thin and dainty.  That is simply something my hands will never be, regardless of whether I weigh 100, 200, 300, 400 or even more pounds.  I will always have large, strong hands, because that’s what my genes have told my body to grow.

And it means that even bangles from the “fat store” (i.e. Evans) don’t fit over my hands.  I can’t even get them past my knuckles.  And if by some miracle I manage to FORCE a bangle over my knuckles?  I can’t get it off again.  I’ve been wearing one of my daughter #2’s pink bangles for a couple of weeks now for that very reason.  The two youngest ones didn’t believe me when I said I couldn’t get them over my knuckles, so I decided to show them.  Bad mistake.  I managed to force it over my knuckles and now I can’t get it OFF!!!

But as I was standing there in Primark today, I was increasingly getting frustrated that I couldn’t put these damned things over my hands.  And, as I said, it didn’t matter where I get them from.  So my frustration wasn’t just borne out of one particular experience, it was a culmination of numerous experiences all resulting in the same thing:  I can’t have what I want, because the combination of my hands + babgles just doesn’t compute.

But it’s not the fault of my body.  It is not the fault of my size 18* (14 US) body that my KNUCKLES are too big to get a bracelet over them.  It’s the fault of the designers who don’t even take variations in BONE STRUCTURE into account, never mind BODY SIZE and SHAPE.

So, after some yoga breathing (or, to be perfectly honest, what I IMAGINE to be yoga breathing), I simply accepted the fact that the bangles were not going to fit me, and went on my merry way.  But it was a good reminder for myself – and for all of you out there – that when you’re trying to find clothes, shoes, and even accessories and you’re having problems of one form or another:

It’s not YOUR BODY’S fault.  It’s not your fault that designers seem to think there’s only one mold for anything and don’t take variations of ANYTHING into account when doing the actual designing.  It doesn’t matter if it’s clothes, shoes, bracelets, or whatever.  If it doesn’t fit (or doesn’t fit properly), it’s not your body’s fault.

* – Look for another post soon regarding body size.  I’ve got one brewing, but it’s not quite ready yet.  You have been warned.  ;)

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11 Responses

  1. I gave up with bangles. I wear oval openable bracelets now. It was a trauma for me when one of my sisters in law forced a jade bangle on me and twisted my hand in the most painful way to show me she was right in that the bangle would fit me after my numerous attempts at telling her no. Needless to say, I don’t like her and avoid her like the plague.

  2. Watchbands are my particular nemesis. I don’t like the leather, buckle it up kind, I prefer the metal, stretchy ones. And I have a very hard time finding ones to fit my wrists. You’d think that 7 1/2 inches isn’t that big, but according to watchband manufacturers, it must be humongous because they don’t make very many of them. Not my fault, theirs……..

  3. You know, it’s funny you should say that, Jess. I’ve always remembered you as being one of those who had hands like I WANTED to have.

    But hey, if there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey, it’s that what my mind has always seen is NOT always what’s really been there.

    And vesta, I SO know what you mean. I have this lovely watch that my grandmother gave me shortly before we moved here, and I can NOT wear it. It’s got one of those stretchy bands and while I can get it ON, it’s uncomfortable in 0.0001 seconds. It’s a shame, too, because otherwise, it’s absolutely gorgeous.

  4. I love bracelets. Unfortunately, tendinitis means I don’t wear them often, and I am very picky about watches. Not only do I run into “does it fit” problems, but if it’s not very lightweight or restricts my movement at all, it causes pain….

  5. I totally understand. My wrists are nearly 8 inches around. My watch is a man’s watch with a leather band, buckle set on the last hole. My hands are also, while not big overall, they have a very wide shape to them. Very few bangles come close to fitting, though the bangles at Lane Bryant generally fit. I do get jealous sometimes, seeing all the cute bangles and bracelets that i can’t wear but I try and get over it quickly.

  6. Ah, bangles, how I loathe thee…
    If I can get them on, they flap about and I hate it. If I can’t, I get stubborn about it and scrape my knuckles getting them on, and they still flap about!
    I much prefer leather watch straps, because they stay in place. Stretchy bands aren’t snug enough. I don’t like things to move around and hit my hand.

  7. I have the same problems with bangles; one day I went to the India Pavilion and saw all these gorgeous bangles which I couldn’t fit over my knuckles. However I started talking to the shopkeeper about it and she said that what theIndian women do is put a nylon stocking over their hand and then put the bangle on. Well, I tried it at home and it worked!! It even worked to help me take the bangle off to!! I find the ones that work best are the knee high stockings, as shiny as possible. I hope this works for you too, because I am just so happy to finally be able to wear all the bangles I could never get on before!!

  8. Another of retail’s many mysteries: why do jewelry mfgrs set themselves up to miss potentially half their sales — or more. I can’t get any bangles over my wrist (never could). My watch band is set almost on the last hole. And I’m otherwise not that large: I wear a size 10 petite (US) and a 7.5 M shoe.

  9. Ugh, bangles. I have big hands and 8″ wrists, bangles are a no go. I do like those bracelets that look like bangles but actually hinge open in the middle, however I’ve never owned one that would stay shut on it’s own.

    It’s not just hard, inflexible jewelry that sucks for big hands and wrists, I noticed that those little jelly rubber bracelets rarely come in sizes bigger than tiny. Sure I could get my hand in there, but I’d have to cut it off.

    I like the bracelets that are made up of many hinged panels, I can’t find a good reference picture. My grandmother gave me one she got in Indonesia which was all silver openwork with elephants and semi-precious stones in it. Alas, someone stole it from me and I’ve been searching for a replacement ever since.

  10. I can’t wear bangles either (nor can I wear most bracelets), but for the opposite problem. I’ve got tiny doll hands that are so slim that most bangles and bracelets will simply slip off my hand.

    I’m also fat, and I do find it a bit funny that being fat doesn’t make my hands or wrists any bigger, at least not by much.

  11. This is why I started making my own jewelry. Like living400lbs, I have tendonitis issues so I can’t stand bangles anyway, but I’ve discovered that SS chain and gems are light enough that they don’t bother my wrist injuries. I can also put magnetic clasps on them so they are easy to put on and take off. I have the same issue with necklaces–either they don’t fit or never sit right on me. It’s a good thing I’m a creative person with an artistic eye–I get compliments on my jewelry all of the time now. There are some etsy.com sellers who will customize pieces for you if you ask…if you’re not a fab jewelry designer, and your wrist/neck features are large, that’s a good place to look for jewelry.

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